Love and hate is only separated by a thin line. Of course, most of the time, a lot of things in life are easier said than done. But you can still try. If there is a will, there will be a way, isnt it? It is natural/normal for love to turn into hate, especially when the person you loved so much hurt you so bad. Some people will say, "You dont understand exactly how strong my feelings are." I do, it is only that I believe that hating is not the solution.
When I am hating someone, the ugly side surfaced and dominated over me. I dont think I need to elaborate much on this part. Everyone knows how strongly they react towards the person they deeply hate. After a while, I would start to despise myself for what I have become. Then I will hate that person even more for making me become what I have become... It is a vicious cycle. And the only true loser is me.
What have I gained from the whole process? First, I lost myself. In the worst case, I could have lost everyone around me too. Then, I have proven true to people who had misunderstand my characters because of my bad behavior. And, I wasted a whole lot of energy because that person is not going to be affected by how/what I am feeling. I believe if that person feels bad about hurting you, he/she would have made amendments before you really start to hate him/her.
In 4 words - Simply not worth it...
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
收音机
亲爱的，你知道吗？你的心里是一台收音机。
有的时候，你的心呤唱着轻快欢愉的交响乐，也有的时候，你的心底荡着如泣如诉的协奏曲；但是大部分的时候，你的心呈现出来的只是一堆杂讯，混乱，模糊，听不出主旋律。
你当然不会喜欢混乱，模糊的自己，你当然希望自己响起的是悠扬，可爱的曲调。
秘诀在于，你必须调整你的天线。
你的天线对准了哪个频道，你的意识就接收了那个频道。
所以，如果你不喜欢哪个频道，就别唱那个频道的歌。
有的时候，你的心呤唱着轻快欢愉的交响乐，也有的时候，你的心底荡着如泣如诉的协奏曲；但是大部分的时候，你的心呈现出来的只是一堆杂讯，混乱，模糊，听不出主旋律。
你当然不会喜欢混乱，模糊的自己，你当然希望自己响起的是悠扬，可爱的曲调。
秘诀在于，你必须调整你的天线。
你的天线对准了哪个频道，你的意识就接收了那个频道。
所以，如果你不喜欢哪个频道，就别唱那个频道的歌。
干燥玫瑰
有人送给你一束玫瑰。你舍不得看她凋谢，所以用漂亮的缎带把她扎起，倒悬与窗前。你说你要将她制成干燥花，成为一份永久的纪念。
可是，在这么多雨的城市里，你必须小心保持她的干燥，以免她有发霉的可能。
就像当你想念一个人的时候，也要以清风明月一般的心里去想念，才能感觉那份畅然美好。
若是以太多的泪水去想念，你将会感觉怅然怨怼，你的心思也难保不因此而发霉。
所以，亲爱的，如果让你的干燥玫瑰在雨水里发霉，还不如趁早把她扔进垃圾桶；如果因为在泪水里想念一个人而污染了自己的清明，还不如趁早将那个人忘记。
可是，在这么多雨的城市里，你必须小心保持她的干燥，以免她有发霉的可能。
就像当你想念一个人的时候，也要以清风明月一般的心里去想念，才能感觉那份畅然美好。
若是以太多的泪水去想念，你将会感觉怅然怨怼，你的心思也难保不因此而发霉。
所以，亲爱的，如果让你的干燥玫瑰在雨水里发霉，还不如趁早把她扔进垃圾桶；如果因为在泪水里想念一个人而污染了自己的清明，还不如趁早将那个人忘记。
Server Down
Hehehe... Yesterday night, I went to TCC to eat with Hui. I had a cheesecake. Hui commented that luckily Mei did not come along because she did not like their menu. Well, I agree with Mei. I think I prefer Coffee Club's menu. Next time, let's go there and try out all the food, shall we? Hehehe... Coffee Club's food/desserts look much more appealing!
I saw a big beautiful rainbow this morning, on my way to work. Hehehe... So happy! It cheers me up and gives me a good start of the day. The MRT train was really crowded and I wondered how many people were like me, noticed the rainbow.
When I came into the office, the server was down. Despite the repeated rebooting, the server continued to be down. Lol... Without the server, nothing could be done. I cant even log onto the internet! Hahaha... So I played minesweeper and lazed around the office the whole morning. Zerence was working hard on rectifying the problem. And luckily, all were restored before noon. =p
I saw a big beautiful rainbow this morning, on my way to work. Hehehe... So happy! It cheers me up and gives me a good start of the day. The MRT train was really crowded and I wondered how many people were like me, noticed the rainbow.
When I came into the office, the server was down. Despite the repeated rebooting, the server continued to be down. Lol... Without the server, nothing could be done. I cant even log onto the internet! Hahaha... So I played minesweeper and lazed around the office the whole morning. Zerence was working hard on rectifying the problem. And luckily, all were restored before noon. =p
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
煮咖啡
每天起床以后，你总要灌下一杯又苦又浓的咖啡；只有你的喉咙醒来，你的脑子才会醒来。
与喝咖啡的道理相同：常常需要经历莫些痛苦，你才能认真地把事情想清楚；只有心被灼伤过，你才会学习坚强与沉默。
所以，就把痛苦与悲伤当成上等的咖啡粉，把思考当成滚烫的热水，煮成一壶又苦又浓的咖啡吧。喝了它，让它帮助你清醒。慢慢地喝，当心别烫了嘴。
懂得人生是怎么一回事的你，一定也懂得怎么煮出一壶醒脑的咖啡。
与喝咖啡的道理相同：常常需要经历莫些痛苦，你才能认真地把事情想清楚；只有心被灼伤过，你才会学习坚强与沉默。
所以，就把痛苦与悲伤当成上等的咖啡粉，把思考当成滚烫的热水，煮成一壶又苦又浓的咖啡吧。喝了它，让它帮助你清醒。慢慢地喝，当心别烫了嘴。
懂得人生是怎么一回事的你，一定也懂得怎么煮出一壶醒脑的咖啡。
看云
亲爱的，你很聪明，但聪明的你有时候也会躲在一个弯弯曲曲的牛角尖里，不肯出来。
钻牛角尖其实很费力，让你又累又气又烦，然而你还是硬钻下去。
亲爱的，与其紧守着你的牛角尖，为何不出来看看云呢？
天上的云变幻不定，常常仰望天空，聪明的你一定能有所了悟。
就像云从来没有一定的形状，你也不是一定非要怎么样。
“一定要考第一名”，“一定要得到那件衣服”，“一定要让他爱上我”，“一定... ...” 当你有这些“一定”的想法时，你已经被你自己的固执纠缠得快要不能脱身了。
就像云从来没有一定的形状，人生本来就不是一定非要怎么样。
钻牛角尖其实很费力，让你又累又气又烦，然而你还是硬钻下去。
亲爱的，与其紧守着你的牛角尖，为何不出来看看云呢？
天上的云变幻不定，常常仰望天空，聪明的你一定能有所了悟。
就像云从来没有一定的形状，你也不是一定非要怎么样。
“一定要考第一名”，“一定要得到那件衣服”，“一定要让他爱上我”，“一定... ...” 当你有这些“一定”的想法时，你已经被你自己的固执纠缠得快要不能脱身了。
就像云从来没有一定的形状，人生本来就不是一定非要怎么样。
Monday, June 27, 2005
Nice Weekends
Mum is okay but Grandaunt has 2 stones near her urinal track. She is very worried and brooding over it too much. Hence, I invited her to our karaoke session on Saturday. At first, she was hesitating but she readily agreed when I asked my mum to invite her.
We had lot of fun. Hahaha... Dont you under-estimate my grandaunt and mum. They are really pretty hip people. They can sing Fish Leong's songs very well! Hehehe... Grandaunt enjoyed herself so much that she danced with Serene while my mum sang. ^-^
We shopped around Tampines after Mum and Stella left to go home early. Sara wanted a blouse and Grandaunt bought it for her. Then Serene treated us to Ice-Kachang. That night, we ordered KFC for dinner. Hahaha... Sara, I think you can understand why I always say I eat too/so much when I am with Grandaunt now. Lol...
Initially, Grandaunt asked if I would be staying overnight at her place but I cant. Hence, she suggested staying at mine. That night, we watched the Inuyasha movie together and chatted till 2.30am before we went to bed. We talked about a lot of things, reminisced about the past. One of which was my great-grandmother's funeral. It seemed so long ago and yet so near, I miss her.
Dad took leave on Sunday. Actually, Grandaunt and I planned to leave early to go to Causeway Point. Since my dad was going to cook, we decided to leave after lunch. We changed our destination as well. We had Assam Fish Head, Stir-Fried Brocolli, Onion Eggs and Old Gourd Pork Ribs Soup for lunch. And we went to Orchard instead.
First, we dropped by Mum's part-time job workplace, Isetan. Heard my mum said that there is a hakkaido food fair at the basement, so we headed there next. It was very crowded. Some of the stalls let you sample their products. However, we did not buy anything as we feel that they are expensive. Just a simple rice cake costs $2.20 each. I like the cheese cake I sampled, it tasted very nice. It is a pity that I did not get to sample the chocolate cake as well.
We had lot of fun. Hahaha... Dont you under-estimate my grandaunt and mum. They are really pretty hip people. They can sing Fish Leong's songs very well! Hehehe... Grandaunt enjoyed herself so much that she danced with Serene while my mum sang. ^-^
We shopped around Tampines after Mum and Stella left to go home early. Sara wanted a blouse and Grandaunt bought it for her. Then Serene treated us to Ice-Kachang. That night, we ordered KFC for dinner. Hahaha... Sara, I think you can understand why I always say I eat too/so much when I am with Grandaunt now. Lol...
Initially, Grandaunt asked if I would be staying overnight at her place but I cant. Hence, she suggested staying at mine. That night, we watched the Inuyasha movie together and chatted till 2.30am before we went to bed. We talked about a lot of things, reminisced about the past. One of which was my great-grandmother's funeral. It seemed so long ago and yet so near, I miss her.
Dad took leave on Sunday. Actually, Grandaunt and I planned to leave early to go to Causeway Point. Since my dad was going to cook, we decided to leave after lunch. We changed our destination as well. We had Assam Fish Head, Stir-Fried Brocolli, Onion Eggs and Old Gourd Pork Ribs Soup for lunch. And we went to Orchard instead.
First, we dropped by Mum's part-time job workplace, Isetan. Heard my mum said that there is a hakkaido food fair at the basement, so we headed there next. It was very crowded. Some of the stalls let you sample their products. However, we did not buy anything as we feel that they are expensive. Just a simple rice cake costs $2.20 each. I like the cheese cake I sampled, it tasted very nice. It is a pity that I did not get to sample the chocolate cake as well.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Eve Of Weekends
Yeah! Friday! Wooppee! Hooray! Oh my... I seem to very crazy every Friday... Lol... Well, I cant help it. I am looking forwards to the weekends sooooo much. Hahaha... No work and all play! =p
Gracy meimei... I still have a lot of chinese posts waiting to be published. Hehehe... I think you will get back the hate chinese feeling if you attempt to read all my chinese posts faithfully. Jia you ba! And... Hope that you will get well soon. Make sure you drink lots of water. That will help to clear your body system and reduce heat. Take care please.
Hiong and Pk, how was your Hk trip? Have fun? Hehehe... Did you go and climb 2 mountains in one day? Hahaha... Got see sunrise? Or see sunset? Got pictures? I want to see!!! And I want to hear stories too!!! Stories! Stories! Pictures! Pictures! Lol... *Imagining Hiong asking Pk to help him throw me into the sea/road* Bad bad Korkors! =p
Rara meimei, I reborrowed the library books le... Jiji meimei, bad bad de... I not only pay for the reborrowing charges but the fines that she has not pay as well. =I Anyway, all the chinese posts comes from those books. Hehehe... Interesting?
Good news, everyone! My mum is fine. The mammotomy report is out and the two lumps are not cancerous. =) Lingling meimei will be joining our karaoke session on Saturday. It is going to be a celebration! Yaaahooo! Hahaha...
Gracy meimei... I still have a lot of chinese posts waiting to be published. Hehehe... I think you will get back the hate chinese feeling if you attempt to read all my chinese posts faithfully. Jia you ba! And... Hope that you will get well soon. Make sure you drink lots of water. That will help to clear your body system and reduce heat. Take care please.
Hiong and Pk, how was your Hk trip? Have fun? Hehehe... Did you go and climb 2 mountains in one day? Hahaha... Got see sunrise? Or see sunset? Got pictures? I want to see!!! And I want to hear stories too!!! Stories! Stories! Pictures! Pictures! Lol... *Imagining Hiong asking Pk to help him throw me into the sea/road* Bad bad Korkors! =p
Rara meimei, I reborrowed the library books le... Jiji meimei, bad bad de... I not only pay for the reborrowing charges but the fines that she has not pay as well. =I Anyway, all the chinese posts comes from those books. Hehehe... Interesting?
Good news, everyone! My mum is fine. The mammotomy report is out and the two lumps are not cancerous. =) Lingling meimei will be joining our karaoke session on Saturday. It is going to be a celebration! Yaaahooo! Hahaha...
Thursday, June 23, 2005
倒着看世界
你会倒立吗？你曾经试着倒立吗？
来，靠着墙，双手撑在地板上，努力让双脚朝天平举，不要害怕，坚固的墙会支撑着你。
如果这个动作实在太难，也没关系，你就弯下腰去，从伸开的两腿间看看你身后的那个世界吧。
和平常一样的世界，是吗？但上下角度完全颠倒，不是吗？
心里不开阔的时候，试试倒着看世界，于是你发现，虽然还是一样的世界，却有了不一样的新奇角度。
来，靠着墙，双手撑在地板上，努力让双脚朝天平举，不要害怕，坚固的墙会支撑着你。
如果这个动作实在太难，也没关系，你就弯下腰去，从伸开的两腿间看看你身后的那个世界吧。
和平常一样的世界，是吗？但上下角度完全颠倒，不是吗？
心里不开阔的时候，试试倒着看世界，于是你发现，虽然还是一样的世界，却有了不一样的新奇角度。
心中的森林
行走在机关重重的人际丛林里，你常常被个种压力催逼得喘不过气，觉得无以为续。
那么，是该到那座森林去走走的时候了。
闭上眼睛，让那条弯弯曲曲的小径给你指引，你越走越深，两旁的林荫也越来越浓密，而你几乎能看见清冷冰凉的淡绿色空气。
然后，你发现了一片湖水和湖畔那棵木干曾泛出香气的大树。
你在树底下，静静地，什么也不想，只有冷雾结成的水滴，只有水滴从叶梢坠落，无声地坠落在薄荷色的湖面。
就这样静静的坐着，就这样什么也别再想，等你休息够了，再随着原路回去。
充满了芬多精的灵魂，又有了应对一切的勇气。
心中的森林，是你随时随地从现实里走出的秘密。
那么，是该到那座森林去走走的时候了。
闭上眼睛，让那条弯弯曲曲的小径给你指引，你越走越深，两旁的林荫也越来越浓密，而你几乎能看见清冷冰凉的淡绿色空气。
然后，你发现了一片湖水和湖畔那棵木干曾泛出香气的大树。
你在树底下，静静地，什么也不想，只有冷雾结成的水滴，只有水滴从叶梢坠落，无声地坠落在薄荷色的湖面。
就这样静静的坐着，就这样什么也别再想，等你休息够了，再随着原路回去。
充满了芬多精的灵魂，又有了应对一切的勇气。
心中的森林，是你随时随地从现实里走出的秘密。
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Real Meaning Of Letting Go
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
打开储藏室
亲爱的，你为何愁眉深锁？一定是你心里囤积了太多的心事。
可是你不应该把你的心当成一间堆满废物的储藏室，你不应该把悲伤的旧冰箱，绝望的吸尘器和哀愁的三脚椅一古脑儿地硬塞在这间储藏室里。你的心容量有限，当你把全部的废物都放进来之后，就没有多余的空间可以接纳他的东西了。
趁着打扫你家里的储藏室时，一并打开你心里那间储藏室吧。丢掉再也不能载花种草的破盘子，丢掉再也不会发光的破台灯，丢掉再也无法上身的破衣服，丢掉所有再也于你无益的沉重其他...
然后，你将会发现，真的轻松多了。
可是你不应该把你的心当成一间堆满废物的储藏室，你不应该把悲伤的旧冰箱，绝望的吸尘器和哀愁的三脚椅一古脑儿地硬塞在这间储藏室里。你的心容量有限，当你把全部的废物都放进来之后，就没有多余的空间可以接纳他的东西了。
趁着打扫你家里的储藏室时，一并打开你心里那间储藏室吧。丢掉再也不能载花种草的破盘子，丢掉再也不会发光的破台灯，丢掉再也无法上身的破衣服，丢掉所有再也于你无益的沉重其他...
然后，你将会发现，真的轻松多了。
Monday, June 20, 2005
Plans For This Saturday
It rained early this morning... Seriously, I dont feel like waking up. It felt so nice and cozy in bed. Hahaha... But after that, woke up with a bad headache. Haiz... Did not really sleep that late yesterday, so should not be due to lack of sleep. Hmm... Also dont know why.
Mum tried to make an arrangement with us yesterday for the coming Saturday. So far, the plans are as followed. Swimming in the early morning, then go for the Kbox lunch package ktv... Mum wants to ask Erjie along too. Erjie, you want to come or not? We 4 sisters and Mum. Are you joining us? Let us know, alright.
Haiz... Longing for a holiday so much... When will my break come?
Mum tried to make an arrangement with us yesterday for the coming Saturday. So far, the plans are as followed. Swimming in the early morning, then go for the Kbox lunch package ktv... Mum wants to ask Erjie along too. Erjie, you want to come or not? We 4 sisters and Mum. Are you joining us? Let us know, alright.
Haiz... Longing for a holiday so much... When will my break come?
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Happy Fathers' Day
Happy Fathers' Day to all the Daddies and Daddies-to-be! Hehehe... Happy Fathers' Day, Didi!
Hmm... Well... Things have not really been going well for me... Yet, I seemed to be alright. I can hehehe here and hahaha there... Lol... Then I suddenly remembered Karmel and my conversation. She commented that despite the tough period, I seemed to be enjoying myself. After thinking for a few minutes, I replied that it would be harder if I dont, wont it? Wow, I am pretty impressed with myself. Hahaha...
Did not go anywhere this weekends... However, I have a good weekends. A quiet weekends by myself, some time for myself and me alone. Hehehe... Played a lot of the Pirate Puzzles... Hahaha... I got to improve on everything except bliging! Waaah... Maybe, when I earn enough money and experience to buy a ship and become captain, wont that be very fun? All my friends can come and be my crew and then we will go and plunder other ships. Oh... I am so excited at the thought! Wont it be very fun? Wont it? Hehehe...
Hmm... Well... Things have not really been going well for me... Yet, I seemed to be alright. I can hehehe here and hahaha there... Lol... Then I suddenly remembered Karmel and my conversation. She commented that despite the tough period, I seemed to be enjoying myself. After thinking for a few minutes, I replied that it would be harder if I dont, wont it? Wow, I am pretty impressed with myself. Hahaha...
Did not go anywhere this weekends... However, I have a good weekends. A quiet weekends by myself, some time for myself and me alone. Hehehe... Played a lot of the Pirate Puzzles... Hahaha... I got to improve on everything except bliging! Waaah... Maybe, when I earn enough money and experience to buy a ship and become captain, wont that be very fun? All my friends can come and be my crew and then we will go and plunder other ships. Oh... I am so excited at the thought! Wont it be very fun? Wont it? Hehehe...
Saturday, June 18, 2005
The Men Dont Get It
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus? Have you heard of the chinese saying that women's thoughts/feelings are deeper than oceans too?
Yesterday night, I met up with Mabel after work. It was a long while since we last met and this was a last minute arrangement... Initially, I was scared. I dont know if I am up to it, dont know if I was in the correct mentality to face her. Have been stressed and upset lately. Only, I just cant let her worry so much so... Haiz... Blur blur... Alight at the wrong bus stop. Luckily, it was only one bus stop before the one we were supposed to meet.
She passed me the gifts that she had for me. A very pretty pink dress which fits me just nice and a Precious Moment musical stand. She must have spent quite an amount on them. Thank you, Gal, I really like them very much. I really do, thanks... Then we sat down and chatted, talked about a number of stuffs.
Why dont the men get it? Certain things are not as simple and straightforwards as they looked. Could be other reasons apart from the ones you thought/suspected. Certain feelings are different/deeper from/than what you thought/know too. However, I understand that it can be so hard for them to differentiate at times. Some men just dont get it...
Yesterday night, I met up with Mabel after work. It was a long while since we last met and this was a last minute arrangement... Initially, I was scared. I dont know if I am up to it, dont know if I was in the correct mentality to face her. Have been stressed and upset lately. Only, I just cant let her worry so much so... Haiz... Blur blur... Alight at the wrong bus stop. Luckily, it was only one bus stop before the one we were supposed to meet.
She passed me the gifts that she had for me. A very pretty pink dress which fits me just nice and a Precious Moment musical stand. She must have spent quite an amount on them. Thank you, Gal, I really like them very much. I really do, thanks... Then we sat down and chatted, talked about a number of stuffs.
Why dont the men get it? Certain things are not as simple and straightforwards as they looked. Could be other reasons apart from the ones you thought/suspected. Certain feelings are different/deeper from/than what you thought/know too. However, I understand that it can be so hard for them to differentiate at times. Some men just dont get it...
Friday, June 17, 2005
宝宝与贝贝的时间篇
思念某人...
是因为你已将他(她)放在心底了。
因思念而心痛的时候，是因为那个人此刻不在身边。
总是躲在树后，只为了守候她，这样的我已心满意足。
可以将思念放在心底，这样的我已别无所求。
因思念而心痛，这样的我心中已经有爱。
我还能骗自己多久...
我失恋了。
在我们无数次来访，踏满了我两足迹的海边，
我，就这样失去了你。
每年都为了那个女孩来到海边。
看着自己留在沙滩上的足迹，
在海浪的冲击下，不断地被抹去。
只有在看到浮现又抹灭的足迹时，
才能让我找回以前失去的爱和失去的女孩。
我还能骗自己多久?
现在的她是不是在另一个沙滩上留下了足迹?
在大海完全将我的记忆抹去，在大海回答我之前，
我会一直在沙滩上留下足迹的。
一直这样下去，一直这样下去...
有人离开了你...
他走之后，原来的位置，会有另一个人来填补，
虽然不断地有人来来去去，
那个位置总会有随时准备要离去的人。
来者不去，去者不来，就是这个道理吧!
是因为你已将他(她)放在心底了。
因思念而心痛的时候，是因为那个人此刻不在身边。
总是躲在树后，只为了守候她，这样的我已心满意足。
可以将思念放在心底，这样的我已别无所求。
因思念而心痛，这样的我心中已经有爱。
我还能骗自己多久...
我失恋了。
在我们无数次来访，踏满了我两足迹的海边，
我，就这样失去了你。
每年都为了那个女孩来到海边。
看着自己留在沙滩上的足迹，
在海浪的冲击下，不断地被抹去。
只有在看到浮现又抹灭的足迹时，
才能让我找回以前失去的爱和失去的女孩。
我还能骗自己多久?
现在的她是不是在另一个沙滩上留下了足迹?
在大海完全将我的记忆抹去，在大海回答我之前，
我会一直在沙滩上留下足迹的。
一直这样下去，一直这样下去...
有人离开了你...
他走之后，原来的位置，会有另一个人来填补，
虽然不断地有人来来去去，
那个位置总会有随时准备要离去的人。
来者不去，去者不来，就是这个道理吧!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
You And Yourself
It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is essential to like yourself.
It is quickening to recognize someone as a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.
It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration, and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.
For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose.
To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
宝宝与贝贝的关系篇（2）
与人分享...
与人分享这件事，说的比做的容易。
像大树一般无私的复付出，
我们的人生不是会因此而变得更丰富，更有意义吗?
如何与人保持适当的距离...
当我们遇到瓶头的时候，
也许会燃起一股想要把自己完全交付给某人的衡动。
当我们思念某人，也或许会有吃不下，睡不着的那股傻劲。
在人际关系当中，如何与人保持适当的距离是我们人生必修的课程。
我这辈子要学的东西还多着呢!
世上所有的事物...
你本来是一个叽叽咋咋的孩子... 自从你姐姐过世后,
你就不太说话了，成天垂头丧气地...
这是我长大后舅妈告诉我的话。
“我小时候是这样吗...?” 我问。
是啊... 你调皮捣蛋得要命，每天跟在我屁股后面，问东问西的，
嘴巴总是闭不起来... 哎，自从你姐姐过世后，
就很难跟你说上几句话了...
你好像得了失语症一样，几乎都不讲话了...
不理人，见到人们就躲开...
舅妈... 我那个时候可能觉得说话很没有意思吧!
我真是个大笨蛋。
原来世上所有的事物都有它背后的意义。
与人分享这件事，说的比做的容易。
像大树一般无私的复付出，
我们的人生不是会因此而变得更丰富，更有意义吗?
如何与人保持适当的距离...
当我们遇到瓶头的时候，
也许会燃起一股想要把自己完全交付给某人的衡动。
当我们思念某人，也或许会有吃不下，睡不着的那股傻劲。
在人际关系当中，如何与人保持适当的距离是我们人生必修的课程。
我这辈子要学的东西还多着呢!
世上所有的事物...
你本来是一个叽叽咋咋的孩子... 自从你姐姐过世后,
你就不太说话了，成天垂头丧气地...
这是我长大后舅妈告诉我的话。
“我小时候是这样吗...?” 我问。
是啊... 你调皮捣蛋得要命，每天跟在我屁股后面，问东问西的，
嘴巴总是闭不起来... 哎，自从你姐姐过世后，
就很难跟你说上几句话了...
你好像得了失语症一样，几乎都不讲话了...
不理人，见到人们就躲开...
舅妈... 我那个时候可能觉得说话很没有意思吧!
我真是个大笨蛋。
原来世上所有的事物都有它背后的意义。
Monday, June 13, 2005
That Is The Spirit
I like the atmosphere in the office today... It had a great feel. Everyone is like a big happy family, helping one another and working together. Roger, who is based in Shanghai, will be dropping over for the whole week. He took over Melvin's office today, so he relocated to Erjie's old place. Made no fuss... Heard Geraldine asked me how to install the printer, he offered help himself. Geraldine was on the phone when Roger wanted to ask for her help. So he turned to me instead. Nobody complains about whatever nots... Everyone is willing to help. That is the spirit!
Hehehe... Interesting... "The obstacles you encounter are not there to prevent you from reaching your goal. The obstacles are there to make sure you really want it." I am noting this down.
Hehehe... Interesting... "The obstacles you encounter are not there to prevent you from reaching your goal. The obstacles are there to make sure you really want it." I am noting this down.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
宝宝与贝贝的关系篇（1）
看不见的伤口其实更大更深更痛...
小时候因故事而造成缺陷的左手，
一直到不久前我才大方地让它展示在众人前。
我不知道为什么这个缺陷带给我这么大的伤害。
事实上，我知道，看不见的伤口其实更大更深更痛。
每个人或多或少都有一，两个别人看不见的伤口。
我不确定是不是看得见的伤口，因为有人知道，
所以不会长久痛苦下去，
但是我确定，看不见的伤口，因为没有人知道，
所以会长久痛苦下去。
看得见的伤口其实是在提醒你别忘了内心的痛苦而已。
到底为了什么，我们都渴望幸福呢...
为了追求幸福，我们不知道花了多少心血，奔波拼命。
到底为了什么，我们都渴望幸福呢...
无论如何，幸福好像是一种经过等待或努力后就会有的结果。
过程不论多么艰辛，只要在最后得到幸福就可以了...
但是现在轻松多了。
不是为了明天的幸福而活，也不是为了以后的幸福而存在，
就是现在，你已经是幸福的人了。
我的贝贝... 对不起...
在迎新会上，第一次见到了贝贝。
她个头不高，有一张圆圆的脸和一双大大的眼睛。
她那一头为了急于摆脱青涩而烫的妈妈头卷发，实在是可爱极了。
贝贝走路又快又大步，看起来一点淑女的样子也没有，
但是她那头逢松的卷发配上一张圆圆的脸蛋，
在我的眼里，真是觉得没有人比她更可爱了。
贝贝在我追了她六个月之后终于答应和我交往。
每次看到贝贝走路急急忙忙，冷不防就会跌到的模样，
我就忍不住劝她走路脚步放慢一点，
不久后，我的贝贝终于可以配合我的脚步，陪我一同散步了。
后来，我开始对贝贝的头发有点意见。
我告诉她，你这么年轻，应该留一头飘逸的长发啊。
贝贝就因为我喜欢她留直发这么单纯的理由，
隔天马上就把头发烫直，笑容即腼腆又羞涩地出现在我的面前。
但是这一次我又开始对她的指甲油有意见，后来是口红的颜色...
贝贝就在我一次有一次，无止禁的欲望中，渐渐地丧失了真正的自己。
我的贝贝... 对不起...
我自私地以为那就是爱...
一直想将心爱的人变成另一个我喜爱的样貌，
我真是幼稚得无可救药啊!
小时候因故事而造成缺陷的左手，
一直到不久前我才大方地让它展示在众人前。
我不知道为什么这个缺陷带给我这么大的伤害。
事实上，我知道，看不见的伤口其实更大更深更痛。
每个人或多或少都有一，两个别人看不见的伤口。
我不确定是不是看得见的伤口，因为有人知道，
所以不会长久痛苦下去，
但是我确定，看不见的伤口，因为没有人知道，
所以会长久痛苦下去。
看得见的伤口其实是在提醒你别忘了内心的痛苦而已。
到底为了什么，我们都渴望幸福呢...
为了追求幸福，我们不知道花了多少心血，奔波拼命。
到底为了什么，我们都渴望幸福呢...
无论如何，幸福好像是一种经过等待或努力后就会有的结果。
过程不论多么艰辛，只要在最后得到幸福就可以了...
但是现在轻松多了。
不是为了明天的幸福而活，也不是为了以后的幸福而存在，
就是现在，你已经是幸福的人了。
我的贝贝... 对不起...
在迎新会上，第一次见到了贝贝。
她个头不高，有一张圆圆的脸和一双大大的眼睛。
她那一头为了急于摆脱青涩而烫的妈妈头卷发，实在是可爱极了。
贝贝走路又快又大步，看起来一点淑女的样子也没有，
但是她那头逢松的卷发配上一张圆圆的脸蛋，
在我的眼里，真是觉得没有人比她更可爱了。
贝贝在我追了她六个月之后终于答应和我交往。
每次看到贝贝走路急急忙忙，冷不防就会跌到的模样，
我就忍不住劝她走路脚步放慢一点，
不久后，我的贝贝终于可以配合我的脚步，陪我一同散步了。
后来，我开始对贝贝的头发有点意见。
我告诉她，你这么年轻，应该留一头飘逸的长发啊。
贝贝就因为我喜欢她留直发这么单纯的理由，
隔天马上就把头发烫直，笑容即腼腆又羞涩地出现在我的面前。
但是这一次我又开始对她的指甲油有意见，后来是口红的颜色...
贝贝就在我一次有一次，无止禁的欲望中，渐渐地丧失了真正的自己。
我的贝贝... 对不起...
我自私地以为那就是爱...
一直想将心爱的人变成另一个我喜爱的样貌，
我真是幼稚得无可救药啊!
Friday, June 10, 2005
On Thursday
Mum went for her mammotomy. Everything seems fine. Now, we have to wait for the report that will come out in 1-2 weeks time...
Melvin came. Well, I like him better than Baskaran. He is more soicable. I supposed the staffs gave him a good welcome lunch? Anyway, everybody was in the office except Geraldine.
Hehehe... Wondering what is the big deal about Baobao and Beibei? Well, it is a book that I have borrowed from the library and read. Some of the thoughts are pretty interesting. Hence, I thought that I would share. =p
Melvin came. Well, I like him better than Baskaran. He is more soicable. I supposed the staffs gave him a good welcome lunch? Anyway, everybody was in the office except Geraldine.
Hehehe... Wondering what is the big deal about Baobao and Beibei? Well, it is a book that I have borrowed from the library and read. Some of the thoughts are pretty interesting. Hence, I thought that I would share. =p
Thursday, June 09, 2005
宝宝与贝贝的爱情篇
顾虑...
常常，我们的顾虑总是令自己感到疲累。
无法将心中的想法说出来, 只是期盼对方能猜测到;
盼着盼着，自己就会开始后悔...
这样岂不是让顾虑局限, 隐藏了我们内心的想法吗?
这也许就是我的私心吧...
不需要你说谢谢的女孩，
也不会期待你赞美的女孩，
她，让我深深的爱着。
有她在身边，我就是最幸福的人。
这也许就是我的私心吧...
我爱你不需要理由，就是爱你...
因为有你在，我已经满足。
因为可以送你礼物，我已经感到无比幸福。
我无时无刻不在想你，你就住在我的心里。
不要问我为什么喜欢你。
我只想告诉你，我爱你不需要理由，就是爱你...
不知道从什么时候开始的...
不知道从什么时候开始的，
看到她幸福的模样我就跟着幸福起来。
她若是欢欣鼓舞，我也会欣喜若狂:
她若是伤心难过，我的心情也跌到谷底。
所以我知道我若是欢欣鼓舞，她便会跟着我欣喜若狂。
所以我知道要让她幸福，我自己就要先变得幸福才行。
所以我知道了，真正的爱不是要别人来爱你，
而是你必须先去爱人...
常常，我们的顾虑总是令自己感到疲累。
无法将心中的想法说出来, 只是期盼对方能猜测到;
盼着盼着，自己就会开始后悔...
这样岂不是让顾虑局限, 隐藏了我们内心的想法吗?
这也许就是我的私心吧...
不需要你说谢谢的女孩，
也不会期待你赞美的女孩，
她，让我深深的爱着。
有她在身边，我就是最幸福的人。
这也许就是我的私心吧...
我爱你不需要理由，就是爱你...
因为有你在，我已经满足。
因为可以送你礼物，我已经感到无比幸福。
我无时无刻不在想你，你就住在我的心里。
不要问我为什么喜欢你。
我只想告诉你，我爱你不需要理由，就是爱你...
不知道从什么时候开始的...
不知道从什么时候开始的，
看到她幸福的模样我就跟着幸福起来。
她若是欢欣鼓舞，我也会欣喜若狂:
她若是伤心难过，我的心情也跌到谷底。
所以我知道我若是欢欣鼓舞，她便会跟着我欣喜若狂。
所以我知道要让她幸福，我自己就要先变得幸福才行。
所以我知道了，真正的爱不是要别人来爱你，
而是你必须先去爱人...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Work
Busy busy busy... First, the server short circuited and I had to restart them. "Can you log on?" Chee Hian kept asking. Wait... Let me reboot them and see what happen. "This is urgent. Can you courier it out for me today?" So I called OCS... "Sally, you know a lot huh?" That is Willem's favourite phrase whenever he needs help... I have not seen the new project manager, Melvin Ooi, yet. He is supposed to come in today, isnt he? I heard Geraldine mentioned that he was coming in on 8th June.
This year's Asean Conference could be in November or December. Wondered where it will be held this year. Last year, it was in Grand Hyatt Hotel and the year before was at Ritz Carlton Hotel. Yeah! I like conferences... I could do more of others than pestering customers for files. Hehehe...
This year's Asean Conference could be in November or December. Wondered where it will be held this year. Last year, it was in Grand Hyatt Hotel and the year before was at Ritz Carlton Hotel. Yeah! I like conferences... I could do more of others than pestering customers for files. Hehehe...
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Puzzle Pirates
Time passed really quickly. When you are busy, time really flies without you knowing... Hahaha... Doing this and that, before I know it, it is lunch time. In fact, I went out for lunch later than usual yesterday because I completely forget about the time.
Ahoy! I have been pretty hooked to Puzzle Pirates lately. Hehehe... Took over one of Stella's toons, Reca. Join a crew to go and fight other ships to get money and goods. Ay ay, Captain! I am best at bilging! Lol... Stella asked me to make my own account but I dont want to. After some time, I would feel bored and stop playing, the games are always the same. Hence, there is no point. Since she can have six toons for each account, giving me one toon doesnt matter, right? =p
Ahoy! I have been pretty hooked to Puzzle Pirates lately. Hehehe... Took over one of Stella's toons, Reca. Join a crew to go and fight other ships to get money and goods. Ay ay, Captain! I am best at bilging! Lol... Stella asked me to make my own account but I dont want to. After some time, I would feel bored and stop playing, the games are always the same. Hence, there is no point. Since she can have six toons for each account, giving me one toon doesnt matter, right? =p
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Please Give Us Strength
Guess what... I was so affected by my aunt that I dreamt... I was sleeping and Mum woke me up. I was pretty annoyed as I had slept late. Dont know why but she told me that the window should be open and opened it for me. Then suddenly, my aunt appeared at my house. I grabbed some working clothes and escaped out of the house via that opened window. My aunt gave chase. I managed to ask an uncle, wearing a suit, to pose as my colleague and took a cab with him. Aunt managed to catch up with me before the taxi can leave. But she was convinced that I am really leaving for work when the uncle told her so and let me go.
Mum forgot to go for the scan of her ovaries yesterday. After the removal of her womb, she still feel pain at her wound even now. I supposed something is not right. Then her mammotomy has been brought forward a day. It will be on the coming Thursday's morning now. Dont know how the rearrangements with my Dad is but I hope that he will be able to accompany her throughout the procedure. I definitely wont be able to take leave even if I want to... Geraldine will be on leave the whole week and I need to/will be covering for her.
I went out with Grandaunt again this afternoon. Initially, she asked me to stay over at her place again but I rejected. She also told me that Boy had his haircut. I can sense Grandaunt's disappointment... Uncle Andrew and Auntie Sandy are busy with their own activities. And I try to stay up as late as I can to chat with her whenever I am there. Sometimes, we just watch television or we play some card games. But I think she enjoys the time with me...
Heard that L's husband was doing pretty badly for the treatment... He had lots of side-effects requiring lots of medication and landed in the ICU for the first dose. Both of them had slimmed down a lot in just a couple of weeks. God bless them... Please give them strength...
Mum forgot to go for the scan of her ovaries yesterday. After the removal of her womb, she still feel pain at her wound even now. I supposed something is not right. Then her mammotomy has been brought forward a day. It will be on the coming Thursday's morning now. Dont know how the rearrangements with my Dad is but I hope that he will be able to accompany her throughout the procedure. I definitely wont be able to take leave even if I want to... Geraldine will be on leave the whole week and I need to/will be covering for her.
I went out with Grandaunt again this afternoon. Initially, she asked me to stay over at her place again but I rejected. She also told me that Boy had his haircut. I can sense Grandaunt's disappointment... Uncle Andrew and Auntie Sandy are busy with their own activities. And I try to stay up as late as I can to chat with her whenever I am there. Sometimes, we just watch television or we play some card games. But I think she enjoys the time with me...
Heard that L's husband was doing pretty badly for the treatment... He had lots of side-effects requiring lots of medication and landed in the ICU for the first dose. Both of them had slimmed down a lot in just a couple of weeks. God bless them... Please give them strength...
Friday, June 03, 2005
Frustrating
Today is Friday... I was looking forwards to the weekends... But now... Haiz...
Mum sent me a sms that nobody was cooking. Hence, she asked me to eat out. I went to Tampines to have my dinner as well as to walk around... It was great. I felt calm and peaceful. I reached home at 10+pm.
My Dad was on the phone when I got home. I was on my way to my room when Stella asked me to listen to a phone call. I was wondering who was the caller... Humph! It was my aunt... It turned out that my Dad was frustrated and hang up on her. I think she called again and Stella picked it up.
Just stepped into the house minutes ago... Without putting my stuffs down... Without changing... Without resting... My aunt made me stood by the telephone and listened to her preach about God for half an hour. Had I not lose my patience and reminded her once again, she would have gone on for another half an hour and more! I was so angry and frustrated, it completely spoilt the good mood I had.
My aunt is a Christian and I understand that she meant us well trying to convert us... She loves us. But she is too hard handed... Whatever good feelings I have towards the religion disappear whenever she comes in. She made me feel so compelled to do it her way, rather than out of my own. Haiz... So much for freewill...
I am going to disappear for the weekends... Poof!
Mum sent me a sms that nobody was cooking. Hence, she asked me to eat out. I went to Tampines to have my dinner as well as to walk around... It was great. I felt calm and peaceful. I reached home at 10+pm.
My Dad was on the phone when I got home. I was on my way to my room when Stella asked me to listen to a phone call. I was wondering who was the caller... Humph! It was my aunt... It turned out that my Dad was frustrated and hang up on her. I think she called again and Stella picked it up.
Just stepped into the house minutes ago... Without putting my stuffs down... Without changing... Without resting... My aunt made me stood by the telephone and listened to her preach about God for half an hour. Had I not lose my patience and reminded her once again, she would have gone on for another half an hour and more! I was so angry and frustrated, it completely spoilt the good mood I had.
My aunt is a Christian and I understand that she meant us well trying to convert us... She loves us. But she is too hard handed... Whatever good feelings I have towards the religion disappear whenever she comes in. She made me feel so compelled to do it her way, rather than out of my own. Haiz... So much for freewill...
I am going to disappear for the weekends... Poof!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Missing Those Things
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete, unless a new toy was brought home.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Dear Friend
I dont know... It seems like a lot of things had happened between my friend and me. And yet, it seemed like nothing much... Maybe, because everything is due to a matter of perspective? Probably, those little things just mean too much to me... That is how they become a great deal? I cannot understand nor know why but deep inside, I think he/she is still someone very important to me.
Mabel gave me a call once she got off her flight yesterday. I am glad and relieved to hear from her. She definitely sounded more cheerful/happy than when I called her before she left. Maybe, we are telepathic... I have been hesitating about sending her a sms when she was outstation. She knew that I am worried about her?
Hahaha... And Hui called me yesterday night. Too bad we missed each other on Monday night... Hehehe... Well... Let me explain... Hui worked at Amara Hotel where we had our company dinner. Yes, Thanying Restaurant is located in 2nd storey of Amara Hotel. Then I was thinking that if she was knocking off work around that time, we could have gone home together. But she did not answer my call! Lol... Wow! I have just found out that Thanying Restaurant is the best restaurant in Amara Hotel and Silk Road Restaurant is 2nd best.
And... Today is my mum's birthday! Happy Birthday, Mum! Lalala... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday dear Ma... Happy birthday to you... Lalala...
Mabel gave me a call once she got off her flight yesterday. I am glad and relieved to hear from her. She definitely sounded more cheerful/happy than when I called her before she left. Maybe, we are telepathic... I have been hesitating about sending her a sms when she was outstation. She knew that I am worried about her?
Hahaha... And Hui called me yesterday night. Too bad we missed each other on Monday night... Hehehe... Well... Let me explain... Hui worked at Amara Hotel where we had our company dinner. Yes, Thanying Restaurant is located in 2nd storey of Amara Hotel. Then I was thinking that if she was knocking off work around that time, we could have gone home together. But she did not answer my call! Lol... Wow! I have just found out that Thanying Restaurant is the best restaurant in Amara Hotel and Silk Road Restaurant is 2nd best.
And... Today is my mum's birthday! Happy Birthday, Mum! Lalala... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday dear Ma... Happy birthday to you... Lalala...