Schedule

Am most frustrated...

Forget about the weekdays... I cannot make it. Have been so tired out lately, unless you want me to drop Baby during the night feeds.

He has been most naughty. Everytime, hope that I can feed him at 9pm and quickly prepare for bed myself. But everytime, ended up dragging till 1am then sleep. Else he would be sleeping around 11pm, then I would have to wake up soon to feed him again. Moreover, naughty boy doesnt drink his full meal makes me having to feed him more often, 1-2.5 hours interval. He will also cry and wake up if he is going to burp or vomit.

Hubby has been most sweet. At times, he helps me look after Baby in the day so that I can catch a nap. During the nights, sometimes he will wake up to feed Baby and change his diapers or whenever I need his help. However, he has to go work in the weekdays so I would wish him to sleep uninterrupted if he can.

As for the weekends, I will have to return home by 6pm.

29th Oct, Baby has to go back to KKH for rehab. I think is for his club feet. Dont know how long the whole session will end.

1st Nov is out as it is my dad's birthday, I have/want to go back and celebrate his birthday with the family. With Baby around, it has been more difficult to go back for dinner. Have so many things to bring and carry along, have to borrow louye's car. Have to schedule well so that he wont be crying for milk to and fro. He will vomit the milk if he drinks it during the rocky car journey.

4th Nov is my own doctor apointment. Doctor said that my wound had not heal "properly" during the last visit. Had asked me to decide if I want to do it during the appointment or have a day surgery if I am afraid. If the day surgery is on 4th Nov itself, I think I wont be going anywhere after that except rest at home until my wound heals.

Let me know ba...

Full Month

Hehe... Finally, my confinement was over... First thing on my mind that day when I woke up was a good long bath. Haha... To scrub away the dirt and grime. :)

Once we got the cakes, we started on our journey to distribute them to our friends and relatives. Spent the whole afternoon, rushing from one place to another... Come to think about it, luckily we didnt have to distribute cakes for/during our wedding? We had bought the cake vouchers then and posted them out instead. Haha...

However, this time was different? Because we wanted the red eggs and ang gu kuehs. Sent only the full month cakes to our close friends and relatives... Travelled from the east to the west and we had to return to Ah Ma's place for dinner at 7pm. Mad mad rush!

Didnt manage to send to Deed... She was in Tampines when we wanted to go down to her place. Asked me to leave the cake with her Mum but I scared leh... Didnt know her Mum (well)... Gulp... Moreover, her Mum had to rush back home from Tampines... Gulp gulp...

Baby was 34 days old now. How he had grown? He had learnt to use his cries to communicate his needs/wants. Cried loud loud when he wanted to drink milk soonest... cried loud loud when he cannot suck the milk...

Mum and Dad had "grown" a little too? Still struggling to learn how to differentiate your cries and what you want? But had already learnt how to carry you, feed you, bath you etc? Dad said he was jealous but was really very doting on you. Everytime, tried to rush back to go to the doctor with you. :)

Happiness And Bliss

Baby's latest checkup had shown that his jaundice was improving. From bilirubin level 155 -> 217 -> 243 -> 229 -> 153 Yippee! Was so happy... Finally, I can put my mind more at ease. :) Will be going back to the polyclinic next week to follow up on his jaundice/bilirubin level instead.

Dar dar had been very sweet... ^-^ Daddy helped to make formula milk for Baby, changed Baby's diapers, bath Baby... When I was too frustrated and tired out, he took over. "Sorry dear, you have to work in the day and I still wake you up in the middle of the night..." "It is okies... Baby, I also have a share..." "Have some rest... Sleep a while, dear... Later, remember to take a nap in the day..."

Remembered how he was scared of blood and yet he went into the delivery room with me... He wanted to be with me and see his son being born, he said. Not scare that you will faint from the sight of blood meh, I asked. If I faint, then too bad liao, he replied. :p

Thanks for everything, dear... ^.^

Added Responsibilities

Well... Apart from the added responsibilities of being a mother, was going to be the successor to the person in charge of events in the family. For example, Qingming, Chongyang...

The Kwok family had some customs which they straightly followed... For example, visiting relatives on Chinese New Year. We paid our respect as a couple to the elders with 4 oranges. 3 oranges below and 1 orange on top with an ang pow in between?

For Chongyang, they always go and pay their respects to the ancestors with chicken, roast pork, etc. The chicken had a standard way of preparing... It must be whole, intact with head, neck folded in a certain way, etc?

I wondered if I will be able to do it...

婚姻存摺

我的'婚姻存摺'是出嫁那天，媽媽遞到我手上的，

當時,我以為會是一大筆錢，打開一看發現只有1000元，
我用失望的眼神看著媽媽，媽媽卻笑著說:'這是我特意為你們辦理的'婚姻存摺'，
'以後每逢值得紀念的日子，都可以存一筆錢。
等到老的時候,裡面除了錢,還有無限的幸福…'。

當時,我對母親這份心思不以為然,倒是丈夫記在了心上。
婚後沒多久!，他就先後存了兩個500元，
一個是因為他升職了，第二個是因為我手術治愈出院。

當時我嘴上笑他無聊，其實心裡甜蜜無比，
畢竟他把我的健康也當作一件讓他感到幸福的事。
沒過多久,我懷孕了,這一次,我足足往裡面存了2000元。

但很快，我們開始有了爭吵和冷漠﹔
孩子出生帶來的快樂是短暫的，洗不完的尿布、喂不完的奶，
進一步加劇了我們感情的惡化而那本婚姻存摺像被遺忘了，
寂寞地躺在抽屜角落，上面的數字久未見漲。

我們鬧離婚的時候，媽媽說:你們先把存摺上面的錢花光了再離吧，
雖然錢不多，但是你們共同的財產。
於是，我第一次取了1000元，然後拎著幾件心儀已久的衣服離開商場時，
我又回去對售貨小姐說:'對不起,我不買了!請你退回我剛才付給你的錢。'

也許當時的局面窘迫極了，
但我腦海裡想到的是那1000元婚姻積蓄的來源:

他是個害羞的男人，但曾在街頭大聲地對我說'我愛你'，我為此存下100元，
他記得我的生日、鞋號、密碼及最怕的事，我為此在生日那天存下300元，
他對女人有風度,也有距離，不給暗戀他的女下屬任何機會，我為此存下500元...
啊，這1000元裡就有這麼多的幸福積累，

再看看婚姻存摺上的兩萬多元，我的眼睛忽然就有些濕潤起來。
晚上回到家，我把存摺交給他，說:'趕緊花吧，花光了好離婚。

第二天晚上，他把存摺遞到我手上，我打開一看，發現反而多了1000元。
他說:'那上面的每一元錢都記錄著我們走過的歷程。'
我第一次發覺原來是這樣的愛你，索性又存进了1000元，
我們從此又和好如初了。

還是媽媽說得對，以愛情的名義為婚姻開個戶口，
把夫妻間所有快樂的、幸福的、浪漫的事，通通存進銀行！
有了這本日積月累的婚姻存摺，即使是再貧窮的婚姻，也決不害怕透支。

這一生，你可能會遇到許多喜歡你的人。
但是，你可能永遠都遇不到一個你真正愛的人。
所以，一但遇到了，一定要好好的把握。
很多事情，錯過了就沒有了，錯過了就是會變的，緣份也是。

Jaundice

Was so tired out today... Baby kept me awake from 3+am to 6+am this morning... He had been alert and wanted to drink milk and more milk... Cried whenever I put him down in the cot to sleep when I thought he had his fill.

I was not complaining... Afterall, Baby's jaundice was pretty bad... I can see how yellow his eyes were. Actually, he was supposed to be admitted into hospital again but the doctor at KKH said that phototheraphy would not longer work on him as he was more than 14 days old... And also not advisable to take his blood for test again as polyclinic had done it before they refered him back to KKH.

Sent us back and made another appointment today at K Clinic this afternoon to check if there was any progress and to find out the reason behind the prolong jaundice? Then I had also read up somewhere that the bilirubin that caused jaundice in Baby was excreted through the stool much more than the urine. Hence, was glad that Baby was drinking more milk...

Hopefully, this jaundice thingy will go away soon... I wanted my Han han to grow up strong and healthy!

Mum Discharged

Naughty Baby made me feed him from 9+pm to 12+am yesterday night... Was so tired and so angry with him that I spanked him a few times. Wondered if Dar dar heartbreak... :p

He went for his checkup again today. Guess it would be a 2 daily, 3 daily routine to check the bilirubin level in his body. According to the doctor, Baby's liver was still not mature enough.

Mum was discharged this afternoon. She sent me a sms while I was taking a nap. Said that she was fine. Dad said that she still cannot eat solid food and will be on medical leave till 16th October. Asked him to take good care of her...

Thanks Deed, for your well wishes... Dont reminisce too much... Of course, they were the past which nobody can erase off. However, it might/would impede you from the future as well.

Dont let your love life bother you too much. Things like "Yuan Fen" are hard to say/tell, they can be so near and yet so far. Just open your heart and keep a look out... :) Jia you...