我依然是我

上个星期四，我与老公回娘家吃饭。电视机刚好在播一部韩剧。

剧情里女主正在和丈夫打官司。丈夫要离婚，可是女主想挽回这段婚姻。因此，丈夫便不惜污蔑女主。女主看了，听了都心寒。女主赢了，法庭宣布离婚无效。但是，女主这时已心灰意冷。当法官宣布结果时， 女主便提出了离婚要求。

我便和妈妈说，女主做的很对。这个男人不值得女主的付出，离开这个渣男是女主的解脱与福..... 忽然间，我发现我还是我。

可能别人会觉得我是个很狠心的人。怎么能头也不回掉头就走呢？可是既然心已死，还有什么可留恋的，还有什么好不舍的..... 何必如此折磨自己？

Tears

Had been tearing a lot lately.....

Fathers and Daughters love/relationships..... 女儿们的男朋友
Mother and Son/Daughters in law love/relationships..... 我最爱的女人们
Sibling love/relationships...... 我们长大了
Husband and Wife love/relationship..... 妻子的浪漫旅行

I am a sucker for these shows and maybe now I know why.....

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving"

奸人当道

生活中奸人当道真的很幸苦。我没有方法释怀，我也没有方法接受。什么时候我能从这种苦走出来呢？

Changes In Lifestyle

This COVID-19 is seriously affecting everybody, nobody is spared all over the world.

"Break Circuit" measures were adopted by our government where most shops had to be closed or operated online. The same goes for the offices, whereby most of us were required to work remotely from home.

There are changes in our lifestyles. I become even more busy during the weekdays, juggling between the kids' Home Based Learning, my office work and cooking lunch. However, I managed to let go during the weekends doing other things with my kids.

Today, we tried making the pork floss with my bread machine. Though the taste was not up to my standard, the kids snacked and finished it all up. Lol.... Hopefully, there will be improvement in the taste next time.

Silence

I have been silent for a very long time.... Maybe life have battered me so much that I am no longer the same as I used to be. I find that people I used to trust eventually I can no longer trust them as well. Hmm...

My sisters, my friends told me that I have the killer look now. So much resentment and hatred inside me have been built up, how to not have? It is really not easy to be a lotus in a muddy pond.

Anyway, nothing is the same now. How can you be remaining the same? Whatever it is, the same water will not flow down the river twice.

What Happened In Meeting Today

I found it so amusing that I actually laughed...

First, he said the boxes were still there and he replied for me, "No time?"

Later, he asked me if the CDs were sent out. I replied "No" and asked him back, "Do you think I have the time?"

Overloaded

Work overloaded... It was almost like I was taking over HPP's work wholesales... Everybody was running to me for everything.

Given my characters, I not only want to do my job but also to do my job well but I found that impossible... We had near to a hundred vessels, Sir. So many so many things, big or small...

Cried in the office twice... Once in the morning when I told HOD that I cannot cope with the workload, things will definitely be delayed and not attended to. I will not be responsible if that happens?

The second time when my superintendent, Capt AZM came over to talk to me when people were knocking off. He said I was losing my smile. Am too stress to smile...

Uncertainties

My Shifu will be transferred to the Purchase Department from May onwards... Though I was informed that he would be transferred but it never occurred to me to be this fast. Sobs sobs...

I was just beginning to get the hang of some of the work and he had to be transferred away. To be honest, I had relied a lot on my Shifu to guide me along. I always discussed and consulted with him for whatever things that I was unsure of. Sad sad...

Dont know what the future beholds from now onwards. Hopefully, I will be able to cope and manage...

Happy Chinese New Year

Lol... This CNY could be my most unforgetable?

Everybody got sick this CNY... Winwin was the first to come down with the virus on the eve... Instead of watching the CNY show in the living room & doing our last minute chores, we were in the bedroom trying to coax the kids to bed.

Winwin was like a zombie on the first day, greedy Tungtung was the next to be down. Coughing like mad that night, so I made the gam chou & pi pa drink for her.

After Tungtung was Heihei... Refused to put the fever patch on the forehead so smearing lavender oil whenever I can... Hoping it will bring his temperate down.

Those few days, I was surrounded all day long by hot koalas who sneezed & coughed into your face. Hanhan also vomited last night.

Super tiring! Trying to curb the virus myself by sniffing Thieves & drinking milo with cinnamon powder. Full mental power ahead, today was the first day of work...

我的少女时代

I didnt go and see the movie but I had seen bits and pieces on the youtube... It really brought back memories, from so long long ago. I like the happy ending, 有情人终成眷属 :)

This guy on the youtube combined the theme song for this movie with the theme song of another movie. I think it was very well done, super nice! Did not know how to embed the video into blog... Used to have the cut & paste but I guess it had been taken away due to copyright or something? Anyway, here is the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g53WnEKCibI 

2015

Today is the last day of the year 2015...

I am not sure how the new year will be but 2015 was a year of changes... Not sure that I liked the changes, like two sides of the coin, there were good ones and there were also bad ones.

The Kwok family broke apart. FIL no longer went back the Guchays place. Big occasions were celebrated separately. Although things had toned down but they were still there... At times, the kids asked but I can only tell them that he was still angry and when you were angry, you lost your head and anything goes... You most probably would not be making a correct decision.

Dardar and me seemed to be communicating or understanding each other better now? Maybe the kids were bigger now, I no longer worry as much about them? Or was it the Tuesday night dates that we were having when the kids stayed over at the Guchays due to the schedule changes?

What were the changes in the Peh family? Mum had grown? Learning to appreciate Daddy and the family more, I think? I believe overall, we had become closer... Enjoyed the swimming sessions together, the meals together, connecting and chatting with one another via our chat groups. The kids enjoyed playing, doing projects with Yeeyee and Porpor.

Gorgor and Didi each got a wife this year. Gorgor held the rom together with his customary while Didi had his rom this year and customary next year. From the way it was, I am not worried about Didi but had to wish Gorgor the best of luck. Dating and marriage are two very different things, so please be prepared.

Regarding work, I guess I should be okay? Lol... To be honest, I didnt know where I were... Still groping in the dark but I seem to be more in the group already? The superintendents were able to joke and tease me? They also seemed to trust me in my work? I guess I should be okay?

I dont know how 2016 will be but hope that it will be a smooth, pleasant year for me.

Calm Before Trouble

Think fairy godmother was very exhausted... Magic was running out. All the things piling on the shoulders were getting too heavy to bear...

I did want to do my work well but I am not fairy godmother. With a wave of the wand and everything can be ready...

Everything needs time and efforts but the way things were clamping together were too much to bear.

Now I knew, that was the calm before troubles...

Blog

Lol... Nobody really blogs anymore... Even me... 

As you grew and seen more of the world... You knew that nothing really was and lasted... What you had experienced would only be the tip of the iceberg...

I am having that feeling again... An upheaval of things to come... Seemingly calm but not so calm actually... I dont know but it shall reveal itself in due course. Dont know if I am freaking out now or not...

National Day

Happy 50th Birthday, Singapore!

I saw in Facebook the commuters singing the song 'Home' in the mrt, I was very touched.

Maybe, it was because I had chosen to leave this little country I had called home many years back. Maybe, it was because I nearly left this place I called home then.

Thank you for everything, Singapore. It might not be the best but it is certainly one of the best place to live in. Clean, secure & beautiful with all my loved ones around...

Swimming

Joined the children in their swimming session with Mama & Reca on Sunday... The time spent together playing with the children was good.

The children had their arm band floats worn & we took them to the deeper children pool. Tried to teach them how to swim, especially Han.

He needs to build up his confidence & swimming is part of his school curriculum in the future. It is better to prepare him now...

Temper

Every time I came back to Louye's place, my temper wanna fly...

I already told them not to wait for me to start dinner. Usually traffic on Fridays were worse and most of the time, I will be delayed. Firstly, I did not want the kids to snack and ended up not able to have their proper meal.

Secondly, please... Do you know how late it was already? Even if the kids said they were not hungry earlier, that did not mean they will not get hungry! And some people had no appetite to eat after being too hungry.

Thirdly, there were not enough space for all of us to sleep anymore. Ever since Dardar had to move out of Didi's room, every time we came back to stay overnight, I always ended up not able to sleep well. 

I always ended up more depleted than replenished, my whole weekends will be like wasted. I cannot get back the energy, the rest I was supposed to have.

It was probably a good thing that in the next few years my Bil had to wait to get his flat. I will not have the chance to come back. Good luck to all of you!

Pissed...

Swimming Outing

Hehe... I have always thought that the Kwok family is very close. On 2nd thoughts now, I think the Peh family is even closer. 

The way we can have fun with one another, tease one another with peace of mind, without offense...

++

Dajie! I need you to fill in form

Swimming outing (5th July 2015)

No. of dumplings: 

Time of deposit: 

Time of collection: 

Having dinner here?: YES/NO (if YES, please indicate the number of adults & children/baby

Important Notes (if any):

++

My replies to her as below.

++

Jiji, tomorrow on... 

Application form as follows.

Ref: SWIM/050715

No of dumplings:4

Time of deposit:8000hrs

Time of collection: 1800hrs

Having dinner here: YES (2A & 4C)

Important notes: Pls be careful about catching cold especially since Hei only has a swimming diaper. Tks for everything.

++

Hehehe...

Appreciations

Actions spoke louder than words... Your appreciations were merely words. I think a simple message that we should have informed earlier was more than sufficient. 

"Do you think you will like it if the 4 Guchays suddenly pop in?" That was uncalled for... Afterall, I did inform one day in advance.

Nobody felt appreciated after all the efforts made... Your door will always be open for us, you said but nobody will want to impose on you anymore.

Essential Oils

Lol... Now, I think my latest craze was essential oils...

Been using the essential oils to do cleaning up... Sometimes, I think they were just as effective in getting rids of stains & dirt or even better...

Just water & essential oils... That was usually all that I needed... I liked the pleasant smell that was left behind too.

Hmm... My concoction was usually made up of oils that served its purpose rather than the smell. Luckily, I had not make up anything that smell weird yet?

HFMD (Part 2)

Heihei also caught the virus!

It was pretty hard for me to isolate the kids... Being too young, they did not understand what was the meaning of isolation.

Heihei got fever when he was supposed to go to the polyclinic for his immunization injection. That night he vomited and simply refused to sleep.

Ended up sleeping after 1.30am... Before that it didnt occur to me to apply essential oils on him. But he slept better after I did. Hence, been doing that for the past couple of nights.

The blend consisted of the following. 3 kind of carrier oils - coconut, olive and jojoba oils. 3 kinds of essential oils - lavender, myrtle and Helichrysum Italicum.

Only when he went back to the doctor to confirm his HFMD that I learnt he was supposed to go KKH if he vomited. If that was what the doctor warned, I guess it must be serious. I was blessed he turned out fine that night.

Due to his HFMD, his immunization injection also had to be postponed to one month later... 

Poor baby had it worst among his siblings. I would think he was the only one with ulcers in his mouth, so he cant eat. Tungtung & Winwin only complained of sore throat & nothing else.